Beating Myself Up

Okay, I have to think I’m not the only one… I looked over Care Bear’s work and was pretty disappointed with how many corners are cut. I’m beating myself up big time. Literally crying while making dinner last night feeling like the ultimate failure in a homeschooling parent. How could I miss it for so long? Why did I not check sooner?

Beating Myself UpThe answer is because Care Bear likes doing it on her own and I want to help her feel independent. She almost never asks for help, and because she has been a steller student whenever she has a professional teacher, I let it go. This has been our cycle for quite some time: I will routinely check on her, then comes a busy week and it gets out of the routine. Another scenario is it is time to check in with her work and there’s some reason it isn’t ready, can’t be checked, or we don’t have time. Care Bear won’t bring it up on her own, nor will she offer up her work. She is happiest going off on her own to do her work and just telling me when she’s done for the day. She’s told me this makes her feel the most grown up.

Now a couple months later, I’m finding that all my reminding and nagging on how the work should be completed was in vain. In all fairness, I should say that Care Bear would probably still be a B student in school with this level work, but it is the amount of skipping steps and cutting corners that I can’t accept. It isn’t a matter of not understanding, it’s a matter of not wanting to complete the work.

Beating Myself UpMoving forward: I definitely need to be more involved in her daily work. How to be more involved and manage a toddler, well, I guess we’ll have to figure that out. We already use Little Miss’s nap time to work together, but that needs to be more focused time instead of just an opportunity. Care Bear starting school earlier is also an option since Little Miss usually watches some TV early in the morning and eats breakfast. There’s some TV time in the afternoon as well, so I’m looking at that as the time to check in for the day.

The biggest change will need to be my attitude. I need to look at homeschooling more as a full time job than a tutor that’s available.ย Currently, I spend most of my time finding the resources and planning how we will implement them, then I hand over the plan to Care Bear. I work with her for a full two weeks to a month, but in the process of the work being completed after it’s all setup, I’m not as hands on. That has to change.

So, help me out here… please tell me I’m not the only one who’s learned I need to step it up. Yesterday was rough.

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9 Responses to Beating Myself Up

  1. Kristy-Lee says:

    Thank you for posting such a wonderfully honest reflection on how your “school” year has gone… As a fellow Homeschooling mummy you are certainly not alone! Sometimes we need to step back and make small adjustments to the way we Homeschool in order to make it work for us – that in my opinion is just fine! ๐Ÿ™‚

    • middlewaymom says:

      Thank you!! ๐Ÿ˜€

      I should say that today was wonderful. It is amazing how starting a new day with new vigor gets the family started on the right foot! I just pray we can keep the routine going because that seems to be the key in all of this.

      • Kristy-Lee says:

        Yay!! Agree wholeheartedly routine is most definitely the key for us here too…just don’t be too hard on yourself if the day doesn’t work out as planned ๐Ÿ˜‰

      • middlewaymom says:

        Absolutely. I’m learning even when the semester doesn’t go as planned, we can still move forward without dwelling on the past. One day at a time. ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. I agree with Kristy-Lee; give yourself a break! We all find ourselves in places where we could have, should have, or would have… the fact is you now realize what needs to be done and are stepping up to do it. Congratulate yourself on identifying the issue and working on it.
    That is another joy of homeschooling. There is no one breathing down your neck (excepting probably yourself, like most of us) and there is plenty of time to “fix” the situation.
    I am sure with a little bit of time, things will be right back to where you think they ought to be. You’re doing a great job!

  3. Say alhamdolillah for being blessed with the opportunity to homeschool…even her not doing her work is way more better then her being embarrassed in front of 30 kids and a teacher who think she is a low achiever…let her move at her own pace. If you keep nagging her she will become more reluctant, eventually she will come around..may be skip what is hindering her and come back to it late in Shaa Allah…best of luck and have fun

    • middlewaymom says:

      Alhamdulilah, she seems to be thriving with more attention on her daily tasks. I think recognition is a driving force for her, so I have to keep in touch with her work to keep her motivated. Allahu alim.

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